Fall is nearly here....then comes WINTER!

{ my boy heading up the trail}

This summer we have spent many hours walking trails, riding bikes, floating rivers, climbing rocks, sitting stream-side, going to the lake and best of all being together.
It has been fun to have the both kids at an age where they can walk into the mountain lakes, ride for miles and we all have fun.
The complaining is very minimal.
Which is SO nice.
Makes me want to get up early pack up our packs with food, water and GO.
I like going.
A lot.

On this particular day we headed up a trail for a walk, it was only a few miles into our destination so Chaco's were the footwear needed instead of heavy duty hiking boots. Plus we needed water worthy shoes, for we were headed to the most amazing natural water slides.
Well, maybe not the most amazing.
I have seen photographs of natural water slides on tropical islands. And those, with their warm water, SMOOTH rocks and tropical flowers blooming, must be most amazing.
But for us and where we live, we were excited to go slide down bumpy granite slabs of rock and splash into icy cold pools.
On a hot day and after a 3 mile hike they sure seemed amazing to me.
Or maybe that was the nips of Sauza while trekking up the trail.
Who knows.

What fun we had!
In the midst of all the fun, I forgot to take pictures of the water slides.
Oh, well.

At least we didn't leave our sunglasses sitting on a bed of moss along side the trail.
The Boy was concerned for the person who had left them.
Sweet he is.





After we had all the cold water we could take, we headed down the trail towards home.

I love the contrast between the rocks on the trail and foliage of the trees.
Hard and cold. Soft and warm.

My trail gear...sun hat, backpack, water bottle, sun glasses and camera.

This summer has been great.

Thank you summer. We have enjoyed playing with you.




(I am starting to look forward to winter.....SKIING!!!!!)

Remember when I

said that there were no forests fires.
Well, we now have several.
Great. Let the sneezing and watering eyes begin.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Thursday Sunset

Laundry on the line.
Sun setting across the valley.
Beautiful.
What a spectacular way to end a fine day.

We took in another hike up into the mountains today. Splashed in the icy waters and hung out.
Maybe pictures later, who knows.

On belay? Belay on. Climbing! Climb on.

After they braved the 40 minute drive up the side of the mountain. Navigated all of the switch-backs and managed to park their cars...
We asked them to walk out to the overlook and hang out till we started the wedding.

The topic at hand...where was the groom??!?

Of course, I knew.
I was smiling.

I knew that 70 feet below the ledge, my man was roping up*, getting ready to make his final climb as a single man. His good friend JB had surprised him by making the trip from the east coast to belay* him on our wedding day.
B was surprised. I was delighted*.

(* B had wanted to solo the climb that day, meaning climb up with no ropes. No protection.
I said "what the hell are you thinking????!!!!!!!!!!!! No way in HELL are you doing any such thing!"
Then, I quickly got on the phone and enlisted help from his climbing partners)


I know many of the activities B loves involve risk. A lot of risk.
I'm okay with that.
I was not okay with that kind of risk on our wedding day.
Nope, I'm an odd one that way.




After what seemed like an eternity, this is what everybody saw.
(And when my snot started flowing)

His Grandmothers wanted to kill him and smother him with kisses all at once.
I was proud and anxious to have him next to me.
We had told no one of this plan, the climb.
People freaked out, but in a good way.


B in a tux, harness, shoes and a chalk bag = SEXY!


Our wedding day is still discussed and talked about by all who were there.
It was all rather unusual, but then so are B & I.
We like it that way.

This one is for you Eleanor, thanks for asking!

Okay, so I can't count

(a peek at our wedding day) (14years + 1 day)

On the 16th I said only 9 days left. Should have been 8 days. Must have not been using both hands to count on. Geesh. [Perhaps I should rethink this home schooling thing]

For us it was the perfect setting. On an overlook's edge, looking out into the wilderness.

A place where we fell in love.

A place where I worked harder than any other job. InMyLife!!

See the ledge behind us, right below my elbow...B climbed up that to me.

I know. I know! Awesome.

I should show you B in his tux, climbing harness and shoes...just coming over the ridge. My favorite moment of the wedding.

Tears have dried - Snot is gone - Let's celebrate!!

Fourteen years ago this morning, I was sobbing.
My eyes and nose were leaking in the most unfortunate of ways.
Not a cute, I'm nervous and getting married cry.
Oh no.
A snot dripping, tears streaming, body shaking and mascara running messy sob.

I was standing on the ledge of a mountain surrounded by the beauty of nature and having this little melt down in front of 40 of our family members and closest friends.

We were in the middle of our wedding.

I was scared shitless.
Excited beyond words.
But so very mixed-up.

I was not fearing marriage.
But all that I may be passing by. All of the loss. All of the unknown.

B stood there beside me. Holding me. Not having to say a thing.
With his presence I knew that this unknown I(we) was embarking on would be okay.
I wanted to be a part of it. I was excited for the journey.
I was Terrified! Yes, with a capital T

This is what I knew;
- The love B gave was extraordinary (and still is, I might add)
- I wanted no other
- Things would work themselves out
- B was my dream of a man
- With B, I felt safe, loved and secure in myself

So, why the gut wrenching tears?
Perhaps a healthy system of checks and balances for my brain?
I'm still not exactly sure.

This is what I know now;
- 14 years later the love B gives to me and to our children is still extraordinary
- I still want no other
- Relationships require more work than I ever imagined
- I could have NOT asked for a better father for my children
- I still freak about all the what could haves, but now its only in my head
- Most, if not all, of the things I feared missing out on are going to be even better to experience with a little age and wisdom under my belt, instead of psychedelics
- B keeps getting sexier
- Having kids at a younger age turned out just fine
- I want to grow all old and wrinkled with B, sit on the porch, reminisce and drink good beer
- There is not a right way to do marriage...we found what works and rolled with it
- I am not always right (sneezecoughbullshit)
- Fighting is okay, as long as resolution follows
- Insight without action is useless
- To have a partner, for me, is better than not
- Living with other humans is hard
- Communication is imperative
- Love does not conquer all - but hard fucking work and sheer determination helps. A lot.
- I am one lucky woman

Happy Anniversary B. I love you.
You still make butterfly's dance in my stomach.
When you kiss me, I melt.
Our two kidders are very lucky to have you as their Daddy.
You can make the most unpleasant, fun.


Things you have shown me to appreciate; (in no special order)
* Onions, raw
* Hottest of hot sauces
* Riding motorcycles (even when I refuse to ride behind, and insist on my own)
* Sunsets and sunrises
* Hard work
* Family
* Beer :)
* Sex
* Good food
* Mountain biking
* Rock climbing
* Being outside, digging into nature and loving all of it, ticks and all
* Wonders of homemade sauce
* Friendships
* Importance of wilderness and the freedom the mountains bring
* Love can be hard but oh so worth working for......hello, 14 years!!!!
* Drunks suck
* Nothing worth having comes easy (damn)
* Skiing in the deep powder is the bomb
* The kids joined our lives, we didn't join theirs....lets keep doing what we do and bring them along. Brilliant advice that man gives, smart he is!!

Okay so the tears are starting to spring and the snot is starting to run. Time to wrap this up.

Love him!

This is where I am...

...right now!
4miles in at a hanging mountain lake.
Serene

Doesn't seem right to have cell service in the wilderness.
Kinda fun.
Totally unethical.
Gotta power down.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Life ~ Love ~ Memories

{picture from the mid 80's. Somewhere on the east coast, summer vacation - B is lovingly strangling his grandmother}


My husbands grandmother is dying.
His heart is breaking. As is ours.
We are separated by thousands of miles. A road trip was made cross country so he could hug on her and in a way, say goodbye. Though that was not spoken of.
He lived with his grandparents for the last two years of high school, as his family had to relocate due to work.
The bonds that he shared with his grandparents, gramma especially is amazing.
To watch them was a beautiful thing.
They both claimed they were telepathically in touch. I can recall SO many times in the middle of a conversation or dinner, B would suddenly stop and excuse himself to go call her.

It was just a feeling.

Beautiful, really.

I never knew my grandparents and am always in awe of their relationship.

Today he called me in tears, he is just so sad.
I want to swallow him up in my love and take all his pain away.
But I am not that powerful....so we walk through the forest of sadness. Looking for glimpses of the rainbow, finding blessings in the path of life.
Finding the good in the midst of loosing one so cherished.

These times are sad.
Memories are wonderful.

I feel so blessed to have know and loved her for the past 14 years.
My in-laws have been most amazing during this process. They moved back to NY last fall. Put their life on hold to be with her, to keep her out of an institution and in her home. What an example of selfless love they have shown. They have been amazing.

Life & Death.
Both normal. Both hard.
Both can bring gifts.

Wednesday Sunrise

I love it when the sun shows itself off in such spectacular fashion.
Good morning!

Tuesday Hike

The light was beautiful.
Kids were full of energy.
It was one of those perfect afternoons.

Happenings of another kind

Sooooooo - we have been on this journey. A journey towards home.
Buying a home.
Our first.
I remember talking about this journey with my dear Aunt Sondra (she is fantastic. I will tell you about her some time) whilst I was pregnant with the youngest. 7 short years ago. We are still traveling on the path. Persistent we are.

Today was the 'day' we put in the 5th offer on the 5th house....biggest difference, this home is not a short sale.
So, in theory things should move MUCH faster. We will see. We should have a reply by Thursday 9am.

Holy Shit!!!!

Excitement muddled with a fresh smidgen of fear.
A good fear.
Not a bury my head in the sand kind of fear.....no, a giddy scariness. Like the first time I jumped off the bridge into the river. Like the first time I headed out on a extended road trip by my self.

Fingers Crossed!



Odd random note - last Thursday night while tripping my brains out and watching Michael sing, life became suddenly clearer. As if the sands have settled, oh yes, still available to be stirred up at any time ~ but I don't have to. Or I can. My Choice.
Fantastic!

Happenings

Sunsets that are blowing my mind....and there are NO forest fires at the moment.
Shocking.
Both the beauty of sunsets and lack of smoke.
Lovely really.

9 days from now

Anniversary draws near.
14 years.
Lots of hard work, tons of laughs & smiles. 2 fantastic kids.
Love that is ever growing. Surprise being planned.
Excitement



Post Edit....damn if I could count. I would say 8 days from now.....geesh